Calling for TSA Reform
Travel Tips by Burleson Consulting
As a frequent traveler I frequently witness abuse
from TSA personnel and I believe that it is time to petition the
government for reform of this highly-critical homeland security
function. I've seen TSA incompetence first-hand and it's time
to come-up with effective security screening that eliminates the
"punishment", whereby TSA personnel detain passengers who speak-up
against abuse, deliberately causing them to miss their flights.
Racial profiling is not racist
I am fighting for TSA to stop this ridiculous
notion that it is racist to single-out people who look like potential
terrorists. Just take a look at all of the detained terrorists and
those who committed suicide at 911 and you can notice immediate
TSA cannot tell the difference between a
Muslim extremist and an elderly white guy
|I believe that the adage “absolute power corrupts
absolutely” especially applies to TSA, and I’ve become
accustomed to being ordered about by TSA personnel who do
not present a professional demeanor or appearance.
Like hundreds of innocent Americans I have firsthand
experience with vindictive TSA losers.
I had just passed through the metal detector and the
agent stopped me asking about the bulge in my crotch.
The conversation went something like this:
"What dat in yo' pants?"
"Um, that would be my penis"
Upon reflection, she may have been talking
about my wallet, but the damage was already done. The TSA
agent made me pass through the metal detector THREE TIMES until the
alarm sounded, and I knew that were going to inspect my manhood.
But it's not just sexy men who are targeted.
Check this article where TSA allegedly molested an 83-year-old
this publication suggesting voyeurism by TSA screeners:
"One particular TSA Supervisor . . .
[has] the Screeners force attractive female passengers to remove
their form fitting sweaters so as to provide the leering
supervisor with a form of “Free Entertainment” at the expense of
the passengers dignity."
Keistering and the TSA
In 2015, the "Don't touch my junk" movement
started, and the TSA is the first government sanction child
molestation in the history of the United States:
The new airport security molestations, as obtrusive as they
are, are not going to stop any savvy terrorist, since most of
them have spent time in prison and had extensive experiences
with anal sex. The bad guys will soon resort to
"Keistering" their explosives.
Evidently, any ex-con from the “in crowd” of religious
extremists has not problem with
slather a slinky bolus of C-4 plastic explosives where the sun
Uranus: The TSA's final frontier
How long until the TSA starts giving free colonoscopies?
Gee, where do they find these
I’ve noted that many TSA personnel present an
appearance worthy of the world's greatest slobs who are grossly
obese, reeking of cheap perfume and have dirty or stained uniforms.
A TSA agent asleep in uniform.
My greatest concern is the dullards that the TSA hires to
The terrorists are smart and crafty, and the average TSA agent
is not paying attention properly.You get what
you pay for, and shoddy performance is
expected when you are hiring people in the $12-$18/hr. pay range.
The core problem with America's security is our failure to hire
professional quality TSA agents.
TSA does not even require a high school diploma for
TSA screeners have less stringent hiring
requirements than the US Army.
By using TSA personnel from the lower echelons of the
workforce we tend to see the “Barney Fife” complex, (from
the Don Knotts Mayberry character who enjoyed abusing his
TSA military impostors in
Falsely assuming and pretending to be an officer and
employee of the United States is publishable by: “Not more than 3
years imprisonment, and/or fine $1,000.00, 1 year supervised release,
and special assessment $100”. According to U. S. Army sergeant Mark England, he
was beaten by a TSA agent who claimed to be a commissioned
Here, Sgt. England describes the TSA
person impersonating an officer.
“At about this time the TSA supervisor
who I described above as the male in his 50’s told me he “is” a Lt. in
the Army. This person spoke to me as if giving me a military order
from a superior.
I asked to see his military ID and he
refused to show me. Per “military regulations”, when not in uniform
and you identify yourself as a U.S soldier, you must produce ID if
asked for it. And for the ISA officer to be in his 50’s and be a Lt.
is a little strange.” – A “little” strange?
“I then respectfully asked officer
Jennings if he would please pick up my dollar bill he threw on the
Let's look at some techniques to help you from
beaten or abused by TSA agents at airpotts.
Flattery can help
In some cases, complements can work in making
the TSA personnel less likely to abuse you. While every TSA agent
is different, here are some complement suggestions that might be
appropriate to reduce your chances of TSA abuse:
“That gravy stain
on your shirt matches your hair”
“I just love your
“That perfume is
lovely. I noticed it 15 feet back in the line and it really covers
up your foot odor”
“Your gold tooth is
“Your TSA shirt is
slimming on you. It makes you looks like you weigh less than 400
Now I'm sure you are asking yourself if these TSA
are really that inept and stupid. A recent
says that over
1,500 TSA screeners have lost their uniforms and this only serves to confirm
my suspicion that many TSA personnel are inept and incapable of performing
their critical security screening tasks.
Truth in Advertising for the
Employment at TSA requires one-year of
screening experience OR a high school diploma, plus a "background
check", but they do not say if convicted felons are banned from
Many people agree that some TSA screeners
can be petty sadists with
an inferiority complex who relish their power over people
who would normally enjoy a higher professional station in
I believe that security screening is a critical task
that should not be relegated to people without proper
training and background.
Over the years I’ve learned that there are a
few tricks for running the gauntlet of mean and abusive TSA
employees, and here are my tips for avoiding becoming a victim of a
Never ask for a private
– The TSA does not
discriminate against TSA agents with deviant sexuality,
nor does the TSA ensure that your inspector is not a homosexual
who finds you sexually arousing. Remember, you must submit to the pat-down
even if you feel molested by the aggressive personal touching of
the TSA agent.
It’s best to have witnesses, especially if you
suspect that the TSA agent has selected you because they find
you sexually attractive. Karen DeCoster describes her
TSA body search:
"So I'm sent over to Mr. Brushcut
Junior and Fat Butch #2. Brushcut Junior was nearly shorter
than me, and puffing his chest trying to fill Mr. Big Man
A real twit this kid was. So they sent me to this
box area, where Butch #2 is literally dragging her palm up
my thighs, and down my back onto my ass."
Don’t appear professional
– As you might expect, many TSA inspectors relish in
detaining doctors, lawyers, senior military officers and
high-level managers, resulting in a method of reverse profiling
that ensures that the wrong people get special screening. I’ve
noticed that the best way to avoid professional harassment is to
pack your Rolex and expensive jewelry in your luggage and never
wear a uniform or a nice suit when going through TSA.
to dress in the simple garb of a religious fundamentalist to
ensure that you are not singled-out for a closer inspection.
Never, ever complain
– No matter how badly you are being molested, abused or
humiliated by a TSA officer, complaining will only serve to make
your treatment worse. I’ve spoken with flight crew personnel
with tales of TSA people who have the nerve to detain airline
captains, causing delays for hundreds of passengers, solely
because the airliner captain exercised his right to complain
about unprofessional treatment by TSA personnel.
"Dominate. Intimidate. Control.": The sorry record of the
Transportation Security Administration, James Bovard notes:
"Travelers who assert their legal
rights can find themselves bounced. Della Maricich was
banned from a Portland-to-Seattle flight on May 1, 2002,
after she asked an airport screener to keep her purse where
she could see it while he searched it. (Many airport
screeners have been accused of theft since the new search
procedures were introduced.) . . .
Don’t appear rushed
– I believe that some TSA personnel have sadistic personalities
and that they train themselves to detect people with close
flight connections, those who will suffer the most from being
detained. I once witnessed an elderly woman brought to
tears when she was detained, solely for expressing concern about
missing her flight. It was mean and evil, but it happens
frequently, even to war heroes:
On August 2, 2002, a screener at
Hartford’s Bradley International Airport poked through the
wallet of Fred Hubbell, an 80-year-old World War II combat
veteran who had already undergone two full searches in that
airport that morning. "What do you expect to find in there, a
rifle?" the exasperated Hubbell asked. He was then
arrested for "causing a public disturbance" and fined $78."
Seriously, let’s get serious
about the TSA
It’s time to reform the TSA and send the
existing screeners to find more suitable jobs as Marine drill
sergeants or kinky S&M dominatrix’s. The bad guys are always on the
lookout for vulnerabilities and I’m convinced that the TSA is one of
the most poorly-qualified and trained of all governmental agencies.
Let’s spend more Federal funds and hire “real”
professional TSA security screeners who meet the same educational
backgrounds as other U.S. Federal agents. Our security is too
precious to entrust to non-professionals.
Please join the chairman of the House aviation subcommittee in
his proposal to get rid of all TSA security screeners and replace
them with qualified personnel, real professionals who want to make
security a career.
The popularity of
this page on TSA abuse and TSA reform has warranted a survey of
continuing abuses by TSA. Here is a recent case of TSA
reports that a man was banned because of a book that he was
carrying, typical of under qualified TSA personnel and false
accusations of passenger threats:
father called that number and was told his son was banned from
flying United because he cracked "a joke about bombs."
"That is totally false," Godfrey says, pointing out that no one
at the airport ever mentioned this to him. Plus, Federal
Aviation Administration (FAA) regulations stipulate that any
passenger who jokes about explosives be arrested on the spot.
By contrast, Godfrey was never charged or even accused of
breaking the law. In fact, Philadelphia Police officers didn’t
even file an incident report, according to department spokesman
Cpl. Jim Pauley."