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Don Burleson Blog 








Microsoft to consider Automobile manufacturing

Unverified rumors by Donald Burleson

According to urban legend, Microsoft's Bill Gates once allegedly chided the auto industry and bragged that Detroit could never keep-up the same pace as Microsoft technology:

"If General Motors had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that get a 1,000 miles to the gallon."

Could Bill be serious?  We must remember that Bill Gates has a net worth greater than most developing countries and we have to wonder how Microsoft would fare if they went into automotive industry.  Let's take a look at what a Microsoft car might look like.

Coming soon - The Microsoft car?

If Microsoft makes the move into automotive production we will surely see the debut of MS-CAR, a Microsoft car with many of the same characteristics of Microsoft Windows that we know and love.  The MS-CAR would likely have these Windows features:

  • In a Microsoft car, you must press a "Start" button to turn-off the engine.
  • The airbags in an MS-CAR would ask "Are you Sure" before deploying.
  • When you get road weary, MS-CAR will automatically install a new driver.
  • When a Microsoft car breaks-down, you would have to close all Windows before attempting to re-start the car.
  • Once re-started, the Microsoft car would ask if you would like to report the incident.
  • In case of an accident, a Microsoft car would require that the engine be re-installed from scratch.
  • Only one person can drive a Microsoft car at a time unless you upgrade to the "professional edition" and purchase extra seats.  The new seats would require that everyone have the same-sized butt.
  • The MS-Car will pester you to upgrade it every time you drive it.
  • The body of a Microsoft car will be very fragile and it requires patching every week.
  • When the MS-Car is replaced by the MS-Vista car, the steering, throttle and brake locations will change dramatically, making it impossible to drive without re-training.
  • A Microsoft car will lock-up frequently (usually due to leaks), but we won't care since the car only costs $25, and it's cheaper to buy a new one than to try to repair it.
  • All gauges on a Microsoft car are displayed within a large blue screen, and all problems are displayed in hexadecimal notation.

Editors Note:  Yes, this gag is older than dirt, dating back to the early days of Windows 3.1 (the 1980's), but many young folks have never heard it before, so here it is . . . .

Also, have you ever wondered about the origin of the three-finger salute?  Here is the inventor of <Alt control> delete, discussion his invention with Bill Gates:

The inventor of ALT CONTROL DELETE



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