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Funny Oracle Job Interview Questions!

Oracle Tips by Burleson Consulting
April 22, 2008

 

Oracle professionals continually amaze me with their versatility and skill, and many Oracle professionals are also talented humorists. 

(FYI, for real Oracle job interview questions for an IT manager, see my book of questions to ask during an Oracle job interview “Conducting the Oracle Job Interview”.  For Oracle job interview questions from a candidates perspective, see the book "The Oracle Job Interview Handbook".)

Oracle guru Joel Garry has many other talents, (he restores classic Corvettes), and he is also quite a talented writer. 

He wrote this list of funny Oracle job interview questions.  Take the time to read it, very insightful and funny!  Here are my favs:

7.  Why separate Index and Data tablespaces?

A.  'Cause Oracle says to.
B.  'Cause some people say it doesn't matter, and you want to prove
them wrong.
C.  It doesn't matter as long as they are not being accessed at the
same time.
D.  It does matter, since they will nearly always be accessed at the
same time. 
E.  It doesn't matter, since they won't be accessed at the same time.
F.  It depends.  It might matter sometimes, and maybe not other times
and maybe the few times it does aren't enough to make a difference, or
maybe they do.
G.  This can only be determined empirically based on observed I/O
requests, so cannot be predicted ahead of time.
H.  This can only be determined empirically, although it can be
mathematically approximated through queuing theory and analysis of
predicted data requests and updates.  But it's just too expensive to
do so, so just spread them across logical volumes on a RAID array with
big stripes and stop worrying about it.

14.  You are interviewing for a DBA job, and the interviewer seems to be interested in everything except you.  You:

A.  Use a cold voice to clearly let him know you don't want your
valuable time wasted, and take control of the situation.
B.  Gamely explain what great DBA experience you've had and how it can
help this company.  Then quote Monty Python and see if he notices.
C.  Pick a heavy personal object off the desk and throw it through a
closed window, then make a comment about first having to get the
mule's attention.
D.  Take off all your clothes, jump up on the desk and sing Ziggy
Stardust at the top of your lungs.
E.  Grab your things and leave, but give a complement to and flirt
with the receptionist.  Later, call and have her get you in to talk to the
CEO about becoming the interviewer's boss.

24.  What is a DBA?

A.  Someone to blame.
B.  It varies by organization.
C.  An all-powerful, all-knowing, all-omniscient godlike being beyond
the ken of mortal man.
D.  A legal notice required to use a fictitious name.
E.  Dumb Big Assbite.
F.  Someone who can code really, really well.

29.  What is the most CPU-intensive thing you can do?

A.  Flush a buffer.
B.  Buff a flusher.
C.  Parse a Query.
D.  Queer a Parsey.
E.  Checkpoint.
 

35.  You get an ORA-600, look up the error on MetaLink, don't quite understand it, so post a question on UseNet.  You get nasty replies about not wasting people's time with homework questions.  You:

A.  Never use usenet again.
B.  Flame each reply.
C.  Re-ask the question with more detail.
D.  Defensively question the manhood of usenet posters.
E.  Spray Diet Coke out of your nose.
F.  Open a support call.
 

 

If you like Oracle tuning, you might enjoy my book "Oracle Tuning: The Definitive Reference", with 950 pages of tuning tips and scripts. 

You can buy it direct from the publisher for 30%-off and get instant access to the code depot of Oracle tuning scripts.


 

 

  
 

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Note: This Oracle documentation was created as a support and Oracle training reference for use by our DBA performance tuning consulting professionals.  Feel free to ask questions on our Oracle forum.

Verify experience! Anyone considering using the services of an Oracle support expert should independently investigate their credentials and experience, and not rely on advertisements and self-proclaimed expertise. All legitimate Oracle experts publish their Oracle qualifications.

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