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Don Burleson Blog 


 

 

 


 

 

 
 

Just for Fun. . .
Products that I buy for others

Don Burleson

 

As part of my normal day I'm charged with feeding dozens of pets (ponies, dogs and cats) and I'm always amazed at the products that are targeted directly at the consumer (Fido), and not at the buyer.

Yesterday I was at a friends house and the dog was running all over the back yard, playing with a dead chicken.  The chicken was stiff and was just starting to small, just the way a dogs likes them! 

I suppose giving dogs the flavors they crave is just good marketing, but you can take it too far.  You know, if dogs chose their own dog food flavors we might see these flavors, one that dogs really like.  To be even more appetizing, the cans could be shaped like little trash cans:

  • New! Carrion Flavored
  • Tastes like your butt

 

Below are some pet treats that my critters love, but have nasty side-effects that I have to deal with.

Kongs for dogs

Kongs look like rubber snowmen and their shape makes them bounce at random angles, and my dogs love them.

   However, some genius noticed that they are hollow and decided that every Kong owner should have "Kong Paste" to fill-up the hole. 

At the pet store, the fellow said,

"You don't have to buy the paste, most folks just fill them with Alpo". 

Yeah, right. . . .

Have you ever seen what they put in canned dog food?  We all know that lips and rennet go into hot dogs, so I cannot image spooning livestock entrails into this Kong toy.  Nope, not happening, so I bought the Kong stuffing.  It was $8, but hey, it got an easy aerosol dispenser, so you can squirt the gross concoction directly into the Kong toy.

Now the dogs just love licking into the cavernous opening in the Kong, but there is always some decaying meat product left-over inside.

What remains inside the Kong begins to fester and it serves as a Petre dish for all sorts of bacteria and insect larvae.  After a week, The Kongs take on a life of their own and you can smell the putrefying dog chow at 20 paces.

 

Bizzy Balls for horses

  Bizzy Balls are essentially a compressed alfalfa ball held together with black-strap molasses. 

They are designed to hang from a rope in the middle of the horse stall, and the horses spend hours licking them, trying in-vain to bite-off a hunk.

The horses and ponies love them, but I don't.  The horse's faces get covered in sticky molasses and the ball itself becomes like flypaper, eventually becoming a huge ball of flies hanging in the stall.

 

I'm planning to update this page as I think of more products.  If you can think of any other, I'd love to add them to my list.  Just e-mail me at info@remote-dba.net


 

 

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