Just for Fun. . .
OK, What is this thing, and is
March 8, 2004
Donald K. Burleson
I have a strange story to tell, and I swear that this is
Now, I've only lived in North Carolina for 6 years, and
I'm trying very-hard to fit-in, even going as far as to take
Redneck lessons. The other day I was walking my fences, and noticed a
rat-like thing stuck in the wire mesh. Not sure if it was edible,
I immediately removed it and found it to be limp and quite dead looking.
||Now as we all know, a
dead rat will get stiff-as-a-board, so stiff that you can hold it
up by its tail, like a popsicle.
However, this critter was warm, soft and
I walked him up to the house and called Amy, a
trained Paramedic to come-over and have a look at our new pet I'll
examination it appeared that our mystery rodent was a male.
Here's is why I think he's a boy,
What do you think?
"Is he dead", I asked?
Amy shook him around a bit, and found him to be quite
pliable, despite the coating of snow that indicated that Mickey had been
in that fence for many hours.
||"If he ain't gone
stiff yet, he's probably still safe to eat", piped-in Penny, our
farm-hand and an expert in edible rodents, especially squirrels
Penny has taught me that you can feed Persimmon
Fruit to possums and this can this makes a lot of that "gamey
flavor" go away.
(It really works, try it).
Anyway, after careful examination, Amy declared that in
her trained medical opinion as a paramedic, that Mickey was a borrowing
rodent (check-out the claws on him), quite alive and only hibernating.
Well, Mickey sure looked dead to me, but to be fair
(Penny was convinced we should definitely eat him by now), we decided to
set it out by the road, so if Mickey "came to", he could scurry-off back
to his home.
So off went Mickey, a perfectly good meal, laid out by
the side of the read near the forest. "He'll wake-up and be gone
tomorrow" Amy said, placing her medical reputation on the line.
Well, sure enough, the dawn came and there was no sign of
Now since this happened, other experts have come forward
to tell us that Mickey might have been a Muskrat, a valuable rodent that
could have been sold on eBay for at least $50.