Just for Fun. . . OK, What is this thing, and is it dead? March 8, 2004 Donald K. Burleson

I have a strange story to tell, and I swear that this is all true. 

Now, I've only lived in North Carolina for 6 years, and I'm trying very-hard to fit-in, even going as far as to take Redneck lessons.  The other day I was walking my fences, and noticed a rat-like thing stuck in the wire mesh.  Not sure if it was edible, I immediately removed it and found it to be limp and quite dead looking.

Now as we all know, a dead rat will get stiff-as-a-board, so stiff that you can hold it up by its tail, like a popsicle. However, this critter was warm, soft and malleable.  I walked him up to the house and called Amy, a trained Paramedic to come-over and have a look at our new pet I'll call "Mickey".

On closer examination it appeared that our mystery rodent was a male. Here's is why I think he's a boy, What do you think?

"Is he dead", I asked?

Amy shook him around a bit, and found him to be quite pliable, despite the coating of snow that indicated that Mickey had been in that fence for many hours.

"If he ain't gone stiff yet, he's probably still safe to eat", piped-in Penny, our farm-hand and an expert in edible rodents, especially squirrels and possum.  Penny has taught me that you can feed Persimmon Fruit to possums and this can this makes a lot of that "gamey flavor" go away.  (It really works, try it).

Anyway, after careful examination, Amy declared that in her trained medical opinion as a paramedic, that Mickey was a borrowing rodent (check-out the claws on him), quite alive and only hibernating. 

Well, Mickey sure looked dead to me, but to be fair (Penny was convinced we should definitely eat him by now), we decided to set it out by the road, so if Mickey "came to", he could scurry-off back to his home.

So off went Mickey, a perfectly good meal, laid out by the side of the read near the forest.  "He'll wake-up and be gone tomorrow" Amy said, placing her medical reputation on the line.

Well, sure enough, the dawn came and there was no sign of Mickey. 

Now since this happened, other experts have come forward to tell us that Mickey might have been a Muskrat, a valuable rodent that could have been sold on eBay for at least $50.