That's despicable! Teaching children how to despise others

I'm very disturbed that the recent trends of tolerance for everything, no matter how offensive, and I've even found myself becoming too tolerant.  I must remind myself that intolerance is a good thing, a crucial mechanism for teaching social norms and mores.  As a parent and role model, I've seen the error of my ways and I'm working very hard to become more intolerant of those who deserve our contempt. 

If we don't teach our kids what is despicable, who's going to teach them? 

That's Despicable!

Daffy Duck always used to say “That’s despicable”, but there is a real need for people to enforce social mores through contempt and ridicule.  Today, almost every American is happy to condemn Bernie Madoff and O. J. Simpson, but by and large, Americans have forgotten how important it is to teach our children to be intolerant. Let’s take a closer look at the nature of despising abhorrent behavior and how society enforces social mores through shame, intolerance and outright discrimination. Like most parents, I’ve tried very hard to teach my own children that it’s not enough to disapprove of despicable acts, but that you must be openly intolerant at every opportunity.

It scares me that we are seeing more-and-more cases of moral turpitude, but what is the root cause?  I attribute American over-tolerance to a host of factors including changing social norms, the culture of tolerance, are foremost, the goofy idea that scumbags are "victims of their cirtcumstances" as-if that somehow excuses them from accepting responsibility for their own bad behavior:

Changing social mores

When I was a child homosexuality and Misogyny were criminal offenses, and as society has become more evolved, our citizens have come to recognize these errors. 

But the pendulum has swung too far, and perverts are coming out of the woodwork, demanding social acceptance for their despicable acts.  Since everyone is now the victim of some “disease”, we see offensive perverts such as NAMBLA (North American Boy Love Association), trying to convince American that child molestation is natural and should be accepted! 

The culture of tolerance

Children today are taught to be tolerant of different cultures and religions, and to tolerate different practices and beliefs no matter how bizarre or morally abhorrent.   However, I think that some children have misunderstood the concept of tolerance, falsely assume that tolerance implies approval.

Society demands thar we tolerate some things, but tolerance does not mean that we must like it.  I must tolerate morbidly obese bleeding over onto my seat on an airplane, but I can openly despise and loathe them for their lack of willpower. 

Intolerance and personal integrity

I’ve tried to teach my kids that they have a moral duty to be intolerant!  I live by the same code of honor used by my father and his father before him, a simple credo that requires me to be intolerant of abhorrent behavior:

“I will not lie, cheat, steal, nor tolerate those who do”

Note that the code of honor explicitly demands intolerance. 

Any honorable person is required to be intolerant of cheaters like Tiger Woods, and I make no apologies for expressing my own disgust with adulterous scumbags.  I applaud Gillette for removing their endorsements because “their values are not congruent with Tiger Woods”, and I will not buy any products that Tiger endorses. 

They say that Tigers never change their stripes, and once somebody has proven themselves to be dishonorable, redemption is impossible. Besides, Tiger should have known better.  He was raised by a doting father, whose job as a senior military officer required that he adhere to a code of honor. 

So, how do we teach young people about honor and integrity?  I think that Conrad Hilton’s great book “Be my Guest”, should be required reading for all students because Conrad makes it crystal clear that the biggest reason for his success was his scrupulous honestly and personal integrity.  When Conrad Hilton told you that he was going to do something, you could take that to the bank.

• Adulterers - When Tiger Woods admitted to being an adulterer, it did not take long for Perez Hilton to come on CNN and announce that the poor fellow was a sex addict, the victim of a disease over which he has no control.

• Abusers - There is a special place in Hell for people who abuse women, children, and animal abusers like Michael Vick are the lowest form of life.

• Sexual promiscuity - Sexual promiscuity should be openly despised, especially in these days where a single whore can infect an entire community with AIDS.  Paris Hilton knew that Americans are quick to despise sluts, and this brilliant gal propelled herself into super-stardom by releasing a fake sex tape!  We despised her then, but now it's all forgotten and she is a household name!  Genius!

• Oppressive governments – You can dress-it up all you want, but dictatorships and communism is abhorrent to personal freedom and the human rights abuses in these countries are well documented.
  

• Polygamists – Americans are neither expected nor required to tolerate foreigners who bring “Harems” into the United States.  It’s not only illegal, but the people from some of these cultures also treat their women like Chattel.
  

• Sexual deviants – While homosexuality has become socially acceptable, our children need to be taught to openly despise sexual deviance, especially when their perversion involves children or non-consenting animals.  I always screen any potential employers against the sex offenders list, and I think that child molesters should be locked-up for life because studies have shown that they have no hope for rehabilitation. 
  

• Anti-Americanism – I keep a list of countries where I block access to my books, software and services, the standard Axis of Evil, foreigners bent on destroying truth, justice and the American way.  Also, we need to teach our kids that it should be an act of war for countries like France to give safe harbor to fugitive American murders, rapists and child molesters.

I could go on and on, but the point is that we need to stop overdoing it and teach our kids that while it’s great to tolerate those who are different from us, it is never OK to abandon our moral compass and tolerate illegal and amoral behaviors. 

I have learned that I cannot trust people anymore.  I was shocked that entire countries are dishonorable, especially atheist countries, and those where morality and honor are not respected.  My company does not do business in Eastern Europe anymore because it seems like everybody lies, cheats and steals.

That will make it far easier than any sex offender registry to find despicable people, and the offenders will be easily to identity, and far easier to despise them in public.

Being cruel to be kind

Today, nobody is responsible for their own bad behavior, and everyone is the victim of some sort of disease:

• Alcoholics - The same is true for alcoholics who kill people when drunk driving, they are the victims of an incurable disease.

• Drug addicts – Any drug addict will tell you that they are not responsible for their uncontrollable ravings.

• Guttons – Food addicts tell the same tale, that they are not responsible for their own actions.

• Tobacco smokers – While smoking is not directly morally offensive, per se, society as a whole has decided the despise smokers, an act of cruelty that is directly designed to help them quit.

Addiction kills millions of people each year, and anyone who has ever tried to help an addict knows that no amount of kindness is going to make an addict stop killing themselves.  Instead, openly despising the behavior has been proven effective.  By losing the approval of society, addicts experience the shame and ostracizing that motivates them to stop their behavior and become socially acceptable.

If you want to see evidence, look no further than the anti-smoking Nazi’s. I remember when smoking was tolerated (I was allowed to smoke in my office at work!), and supermarket end-caps had ashtrays!  As exasperated relatives grieved as their loved ones killed themselves from their misconduct, society chose to impose draconian measures, encouraging people to openly despise tobacco addicts.

This approach, while clearly cruel, saved countless lives and it serves as just one example of how encouraging people to despise a group can motivate them to stop their misconduct.

In my mind, each and every one of the above example is nothing more than willful misconduct.  Sure, it may be caused by a legitimate underlying physical problem, but that does not absolve the addict from taking action to control their behavior.