Just for Fun. . .
Rejected Computer Books

Don Burleson


Over the years I have always tried to write books that will be useful to the computer professional, often with mixed results.  Like any computer book author, I've had my share of rejected titles including the Oracle Kid. Here are few of my favorites:

How to Meet Women

This was a pragmatic title, addressing a pressing need for many computer professionals.  Key features included:

   - Learn Guaranteed pick-up lines

   - Dress for success and hide your inner Geek

   - Understanding rejection

   - Finding your soul-mate

I still think that this would make an excellent book.


Oracle Express

Mark Rittman's tale of fantasy and adventure as he takes the Oracle Express into the unknown realm of Business intelligence.

Packed with adventure and suspense, learn the hidden secrets of Oracle Express and see how Mark learns the true meaning of multidimensional modeling.


Internet Scams for Dummies
(International Edition)

Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) reports that over three billion dollars was earned by web scammers in 2004.

Don't miss out on this wonderful money making opportunity.  Learn how the Nigerian 419 scam has made millions and see how you can appeal to greedy Americans.

From simple consumer fraud to complex Phishing scams, learn from the experts how to generate a steady stream of income, all from rich Americans who won't miss the money anyway.  Get the income you deserve!


Geek Hacks

This was a book dedicated to helping computer professionals embrace their inner geek.

   - Home decor for the geek

   - Being geeky

   - Proper geek dress

   - Geek customs and traditions

   - Geek cooking secrets


Faking OCP Certification for Dummies

Everyone knows that it is next to impossible to verify someone's Oracle Certification status and you can now take advantage of this and get the Oracle dream job that you deserve.

This complete book has catch-phrases like "materialized views" and "referential integrity" that will impress your new boss, plus you get a ready-to-print OCP certificate.

The Oracle Kid

This is the compelling and heartwarming story of courage and triumph that is perfect for the whole family.  Starring Tim Hall, this is the story of the shy scientist who enlists the aid of a renowned Oracle expert (played by Pat Morita) to realize his full potential as a champion.

The perfect date movie, watch Tim Hall dazzle the bad guys and win the love of his life, all without breaking a sweat.